I write code that is easy to read and uses intuitive data structures. Everyone else uses weird solutions and writes them poorly.

My innovations are clever responses to unusual circumstances. Everyone else’s are obviously weird.

Every time I have to fix someone’s code, their code is terrible. I never hear about my own code being terrible and in need of fixing. Every time I need to touch my own code again it is because it is so good my customers want to make another use of it.

If someone uses my software it is because it is good code. If they use competing software it is because of their clever marketing.

If I copy code from Stack Exchange I’m being efficient. If someone else does it they couldn’t do it themselves.

If I use an obscure language or library, I’m leveraging my unusual skillset. If someone else does it, they’re prioritizing their own convenience over maintainability.

If someone like John Carmack is just better than me at programming in every way it is because they are in a special heroic reference class that it would be unfair to compare me to but that I obviously aspire to.

Lifted entirely from https://slatestarcodex.com/2020/01/02/why-doctors-think-theyre-the-best/#comment-836896 with light editing and reformatting. (You should read the parent article as well.)

See also The Devil's Dictionary for Developers.

Are you stuck with a legacy PHP application? You should buy my book because it gives you a step-by-step guide to improving you codebase, all while keeping it running the whole time.